Yesterday I saw a display of parenting I won't forget anytime soon. Now I
don't want you to think that I think I know everything about parenting.
That couldn't be further from the truth. The one thing that having seven
kids has taught me is I really am clueless at raising kids. Each child is
different and can't be parented the same way. One thing I have learned is
that each child needs to be raised with love, patience and care. That is
not what I saw yesterday.
I was with a small group of people, and this lady (whom I don't know) verbally abused and belittled her teenage daughter in front of a dozen people. This women ranted and raved for a few minutes about something the daughter had done a few days before. My hope is that this mom was
kidding. I just don't know her or her sense of humor. Although I saw
and heard nothing funny about her tone or the volume of her voice, the
look on her beautiful daughters face was also NOT funny but heart
breaking. I finally got up and left the room. I didn't feel it was my
place to say anything. It did take a lot of self control and my
guardian angels pushing me out of the room to keep me from saying something.
The great thing about a blog is now I can say something.
Parenting 101....
Love your children!!
Love them when they are crying at 2am!!
Love them when they are obeying you and being perfect!!
Love them when they are acting like an idiot!!
Love them when they are making stupid mistakes!!!
Love them if they are short or tall, fat or thin, funny or annoying, genius
or stupid!!
Love your kids!!! This doesn't mean you never discipline them. (That's
parenting 102. ) All kids need love and discipline both.
This is what I tell my kids when they are mean and rude to each other or if
they've had a bad day. "The world can be mean and cruel, but once you walk
through those doors you are in a place where EVERYONE loves you."
In the book "The Help" Aibileen tells Mae Mobley, "You is kind, you is smart and you
is important." That's what we have to be doing. The world won't tell them
that, especially as teenagers. The world says be skinnier, buy
immodest, expensive clothes to be beautiful, and you're
stupid and not good enough. If we as parents reinforce in their minds what
the world is saying, we are knocking them down twice as hard as anything the
world can throw at them. They don't have a chance.
Above my kitchen table I have a sign which says, "Home is where they love you". I want my
kids to want to come home. I want my home to be filled with love. I want
my kids to know that it doesn't matter where they go, what they do or what
anyone else says or does to them, I will always love them. ALWAYS!!!
Our youth today is up against Satans best. He's been practicing and
perfecting his tactics for thousands of years, and it's not fair when my
child has only been around for a few years and has to go up against him.
That's why God sent us to a family. Satan doesn't need help knocking our
youth down. God needs help building them up!!
It's not always easy to do this. As I've been thinking about it, I've
remembered a few times when I've said something stupid. Something if I
could take back, I would. For that I'm sorry.
I think my 9 year old said it perfectly. I was talking to my husband about
this experience and I said, "Love your kids". Then my 9 year old said, "... and they will love you." That sums it all up!!
Love your kids and they will love you!!!
i saw that at the treatment center i worked at sometimes. it was a no-brainer why their daughter was in treatment. so sad! kids should never doubt that their parents love them. that's what leads to trouble.
ReplyDeletep.s. i like these parenting courses. :)
"Our youth today is up against Satans best. He's been practicing and
ReplyDeleteperfecting his tactics for thousands of years, and it's not fair when my
child has only been around for a few years and has to go up against him.
That's why God sent us to a family. Satan doesn't need help knocking our
youth down. God needs help building them up!!"
I love that statement! Thanks for reminding me our home can never have enough love in it!
I loved this post! I especially like how you quoted "The Help". Kids need to be loved, have boundaries & not be publicly humiliated!
ReplyDeleteOne night Dakota came to me and asked me what I would do if he started smoking. I looked at him rather dumbfounded because I really didn't know what to say. I finally said to him "you know that I don't support smoking, drinking or doing drugs because it is bad for your body, and I will NEVER buy any of that stuff for you, however, I will ALWAYS love you NO MATTER WHAT." Later I found out that he told his dad that I "basically" told him that it was okay for him to smoke!! I was shocked to say the least. I just never know how my kids are going to take something I say. I meant to show him unconditional love and I guess he took that to mean something like "if she is going to love me anyway then it is okay"...
ReplyDeleteTotally NOT the message I intended to send him = \